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Published: December 10, 2008
Newton - Mark Pennell remembers the incessant clip-clop of the rocking horse when his children were little. It was a perfectly good toy, the rocking horse. Then the manufacturer had to go and give it a noise.
"I'm going to get my granddaughter one when she's about 3," said the 45-year-old Pennell, of Conover.
It will be payback, gift-wrapped.
Kathy Tolf, of Gold Hill, still cringes when she remembers the xylophone and the toy piano her children had when they were babies. Oh, and the drum set. That was a headache.
"After about six hours, it's not cute anymore," said the 50-year-old fire educator in Newton. "My littlest one is 24 now, but some memories are timeless.
The beep, beep, beep of a toy crane makes 20-year-old mom Roxy Allen crazy. But 21-month-old Ryder just loves it.
The toy aisles are full this time of year. Maybe moms and dads are hard to buy for, but for the little ones on your list, the choices are never-ending. They're also noisy. And, as often as not, obnoxious.
1. Elmo Live
About: $60
Remember when all he did was laugh? Now the red furry creature of Sesame Street fame tells stories, sings songs, dances and clears his throat. The best part: You might think he's finished. The kids haven't touched him in 10 minutes, and then, when you walk by, he starts up again.
Elmo's saving grace is that even with his maddening screech, he mixes up his noises, which is better than if he repeated it over and over again.
Annoyance factor: 5 (out of 10)
2. Leap Frog Alphabet Pal
About: $18
Press the caterpillar's little feet and it will tell your toddler which letter is printed on it, which color it is or it will play a note. On the music setting, the thing will break off into a tune when kids press a number of feet in a row.
All that might be fine. And at least it isn't repetitive. What earns this caterpillar a place on the list is what it does when you don't play with it for a while. "Thanks for playing Leap Frog," it chatters. Like any family with kids needs one more advertisement in their home. Thanks but no thanks, Leap Frog.
Annoyance factor: 7 (out of 10)
3. Catch Phrase! board game
About: $20
You thought a board game was a safe choice, right? Well, this one has a buzzer for when time runs out. It's not automated so all you have to do is push it for an irritating "neep" sound. And it's not attached to the game so the "neep" doesn't necessary stop when the game does. Record employee and mother of six Melanie Zimmermann says it ends up under the couch cushion or beneath the table for a "neep" when you need it least.
The Zimmermann buzzer "mysteriously" disappeared.
Annoyance factor: 4 (out of 10)
4. Dirt Devil Play Vacuum
About: $15
There are a lot of reasons to despise this little fellow. First, it makes a
vacuum cleaner noise. Second, it takes THREE batteries, as if two weren't hard enough to find. And third, why wouldn't you just give your kids a real vacuum and let them do something noisy and useful instead of just noisy?
Annoyance factor: 6 (out of 10)
5
The McDonald's Cash Register
About: $10
Let's forget for a moment your kids don't need any reminders about McDonald's. This pretend cash register has rows of buttons that produce the same infuriating "beep." And that's the best part. Press the buttons on the left-hand column and the thing pronounces the stuff you'd rather your kids forget about. "French fries," it says. "Drink. Cheeseburger. Apple Pie …"
And the worst part: It has a handle so this one is definitely going to end up in the car.
Annoyance factor: 9 (out of 10)
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