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When are you too old for a safe haven?

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By Melanie Zimmermann | Hickory Daily Record

Published: October 9, 2008

Earlier Wednesday, I was trolling through the MSNBC.com Web site when I noticed a story about child abandonment laws in Nebraska. Apparently, when the safe haven law was written, lawmakers did not set an age limit. In most states, an infant can be dropped off at a hospital and the parent leaving the child will not be charged with abandonment. Nebraska is rethinking the wording of this law to include the age limit. I think they need to leave it as it is.

A father took his nine children, ranging in ages from 1 to 17, and left them at the hospital. At first glance, I thought, what an awful parent to discard his kids just like that. How bad could his kids have been for him to say, "Here, you take them. I am done?"

As I read the article, I got to the truth. This dad wasn't abandoning his kids, he was trying to find a safe place for them. He was so overwhelmed with the death of his wife, he just couldn't function. He truly loved his kids. He just didn't think he could care for them anymore.

My heart hurts for this father. He had just lost his partner for life. And now he had to face life without her. I can't even imagine the feeling of hopelessness he was dealing with at the time. I know the decision he was making to give up his kids was breaking his heart. I don't want to ever imagine what that feeling would be like.

This is why I think the Nebraska Legislature should reconsider setting the age limit in the Safe Haven Law. Hopefully, the hospital, at which the father left the children, realized that this father was in severe distress and was able to help him. I hope he and his kids will be able to come to grips with the loss of their loved one and will be able to go forward in this life. I will be thinking of them. And I hope the Nebraska Legislature thinks about them too.

Do you feel overwhelmed as a parent? We all do. Check out some of these parenting Web sites for helpful tips, support and advice:

One Tough Job - http://www.onetoughjob.org/
The Web site offers helpful parenting advice ranging from back-to-school tips to parent-child communication tips.

Mama Source - http://www.mamasource.com - This Web site offers helpful tips, blogs, videos and photo galleries.

Parent to Parent - http://www.parenttoparent.com/- This Web site features articles, blogs, radio show and forum.

Parent Supersite - http://www.parentsupersite.com/ - This Web site offers parenting help and advice for moms and dads.

Family Guidance -http://www.fgcservices.com/ -This group offers counseling for families and individuals.

What are your thoughts? I want to know. E-mail me at
mzimmerman@hickoryrecord.com. Read an extended version of this article on the Click it page under Entertainment at www.hickoryrecord.com.