How to survive the movie theater

(believe us, you don't already know)

From Staff Reports

buzz@hickoryrecord.com

Published: April 30, 2009

Hickory - 1. Sure you should put your cell phone on silent or vibrate. Everybody knows it's unacceptable to answer or make a call during the movie. But remember that even if you leave your seat to make or take a call, you have to step outside the theater doors. We can still hear you if you don't.

2. Texting is not OK. Your phone or Blackberry puts off a lot more light than you think, especially in a dark theater. That means people are looking at you instead of the movie. And these are not happy people.

3. Always face the back of the theater when entering or exiting a row of seats with people in them. Because of the way we bend when we slide between seats, our rear ends extend farther backward than our knees. Your fellow moviegoers don't need a close up of your buttocks.

4. You already know it's not OK to yell at or talk to the movie screen. If you don't, you are a world champion ignorer of dirty looks. Try not to laugh when a fellow audience member yells. It only encourages the obnoxious behavior.

5. If the crowd in the theater is small, don't sit right in front of anyone, even in stadium seating. It's not just rude. It's kind of weird.

Need some advice on how to survive your next sticky situation? E-mail buzz@hickoryrecord.com or call 322-4510, x5403 to make sure we add you to the list.