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Grandmother takes on zombies, Michael Myers

Photo courtesy of Joan Schuermeyer

Joan Schuermeyer poses with Rob Zombie on the set of ‘Halloween II.’ She was cast as a hospital nurse in the upcoming horror movie.

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See the “Zombieland” trailer

By Ragan Robinson | Hickory Daily Record

Published: August 23, 2009

NEWTON - Catawba County grandmother Joan Schuermeyer woke up beside heartthrob Jake Gyllenhaal last year.

The 67-year-old was working as an extra when she fell asleep on the set of "Nailed," a big-name production with money problems that kept it out of theaters.

Stars Gyllenhaal, Tracy Morgan and Paul Reubens posed around the sleeping senior actress for a funny photo. Reubens (better known as Pee-wee Herman) was nice enough to e-mail Schuermeyer a copy.

The Newton woman has a resume — and a scrapbook — full of brushes with fame.

Right now she's on movie screens and computer monitors around the nation.

Schuermeyer scored about three seconds in the official trailer for "Zombieland," a Woody Harrelson horror-meets-comedy flick due out Oct. 9. She's the gray-haired woman who drops a baby grand piano on a zombie in pursuit.

The retired day-care owner and substitute teacher got another taste of celebrity in "Halloween II," set to open Friday. A casting agent with the movie called her after seeing Schuermeyer in "Zombieland."

Then "Fangoria" magazine published a photo of her as a dead hospital nurse, covered in fake blood and spilled brains made from chopped bananas.

In a photo she took with director, producer, writer and heavy metal musician Rob Zombie, she has bloodied eyes courtesy of a makeup artist. Schuermeyer wasn't sure who Zombie was when she got to the set, only that all the girls were saying they wanted a picture of him.

Crews filmed "Zombieland" and "Halloween II" in Atlanta, Ga., where Schuermeyer responded to a casting call for extras. For "Nailed," she went to Columbia, S.C. She's been across the Southeast to act.

Schuermeyer thinks her silver hair is a benefit in a crowd where most women dye their hair.

"This old, gray-headed lady drops a piano on a zombie," she says. "That's funny."

Schuermeyer got into acting when her son, Chad, graduated from college with a theater degree and started doing the work. While she doesn't turn down speaking parts, she doesn't have any notions of stardom.

It's not a huge moneymaker, either. Schuermeyer gets paid anywhere from $50 to $100 a day for working on bigger films, although she's gone as far as Atlanta to act for free in independent movies.

She simply thought it sounded like fun.

It has been.

In 2004, the same year she started trying to get screen time, she tried out to be an extra in "The Ultimate Gift."

Schuermeyer wound up being a stand-in for actress Lee Meriwether. The stand-in is someone with similar hair and skin tone who literally stands where the actor will stand to help crews get the lights and cameras ready.

Meriwether is five feet, seven inches tall. Schuermeyer is five feet, one inch. She wanted the part so much, she duct-taped her running shoes onto blocks of wood to make up for the height difference.

In her scrapbook, she has pictures of the trailer she got on the scene of "Zombieland." There was no one on set that day except her and the man playing a zombie so they got the star treatment. She makes sure to point out in the handwritten captions that one of the couch cushions lifts up to reveal a toilet.

When she was a "Leatherheads" extra, the bathroom stalls were so small she had to leave the door cracked to sit down. Schuermeyer had someone take a picture of her feet sticking out below the partly opened door so she could laugh about it later.

Schuermeyer will be at Carmike 14 on Saturday to help celebrate the "Halloween II" opening weekend.
"Just look for the gray hair," she says.