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For one glorious summer in the early ‘80s, I put on a fire suit and got behind the wheel of a’67 Chevy, No. 24, every Saturday night at Hickory Motor Speedway.
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It was the first time in my life I regretted knowing nothing about pot roast.
As a non-attorney spokesperson, I have a duty to keep my thumb on the wildly-racing pulse of the world’s legal proceedings, providing readers with critical information on judicial matters that impact their lives, especially on weeks where there is nothing but sand at the bottom of my creative well.
Excited about the Commonwealth Games in India?
Ralph Stanley made me cry.
I was sweaty, out of breath and in no mood to have a long theological discussion with a rodeo clown. But I knew one was coming.
I walked to the mound with a swagger, then glared into the batter's box at the opponent I would vanquish with blistering fastballs.
Want to ride in my flying car? No, you don't. Because any flying car I can afford will be less like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and more like, well, something that sounds awfully close to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Thinking about getting a foot facelift? Neither am I.
Someday, I hope to be the proud owner of Abe Lincoln’s big toe.
Here are five things I’ve learned from falling down a flight of stairs, bruising myself from head to toe, chipping a bone in my wrist and wearing a large brace that restricts my hand movement: 1. I move my hand – a lot.
Famed British physicist Stephen Hawking says space aliens, if they pay us a visit, will rip our faces off.
The journalism community may find this hard to swallow, but it's possible we owe the Donner Party an apology.
Planning to go to a giant, family-oriented indoor waterpark?
Twelve years ago, when most of my parenting skills were based on what I learned from massive consumption of TV sitcoms, I wrote this:
It's official: The horned dung beetle is The World's Strongest Insect.
Turning to ridiculous international news, a woman in New Zealand sold what she said were two vials containing ghosts for nearly $1,400 in an online auction.
Pundits, bloggers and others with way too much time on their hands are having a field day with the revelation that more than $70,000 in federal stimulus money will be spent to study monkeys on cocaine.
I'm not a tour guide, but I play one at the newspaper.
I'm not a tour guide, but I play one at the newspaper.
Dear diary: You are now worth $6,000.
I walked across the street at the light and turned onto the sidewalk when my boots hit a slick spot, my weight shifted awkwardly, and I knew I was headed south.
I walked across the street at the light and turned onto the sidewalk when my boots hit a slick spot, my weight shifted awkwardly, and I knew I was headed south.
Vehicle recall notices aren't as detailed or action-packed as I imagined. With the much publicized auto industry problems of late, I cruised on over to safecar.gov, the U.S. Department of Transportation's recall roundup site, to see if my truck was on the list of vehicles that will suddenly explode.
I don't boogie much.
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